"Do your pants hang low, do they wobble to the floor..."

The gym sucks in January.  My gym isn't typically very packed, but everybody comes out of the woodwork in the new year.  By February, tumbleweeds drift through the lines of treadmills and ellipticals.

I actually couldn't get a treadmill tonight.  I was especially annoyed because I took 30 seconds to fill my water bottle before purposely moving towards the one free treadmill, but the guy who materialized from the other direction was 2 steps closer.  At least 3 of the treadmills were out of service, and the little one I tried to program froze weirdly.  Despite my frustration, I was not about to leave.  So I jumped on the elliptical, and holy hell!  They look so easy, but I was really feeling it after 3 minutes.  Happily, one of the employees nudged me to let me know a treadmill had just opened.

I jumped on and began my slow jog.  Suddenly, I felt my pants slipping down my hips.  I hiked them up, but the same thing happened less than a minute later.  I thought maybe it was my underwear material, but there's no way that underwear could cause that much slippage.  I started getting annoyed as I hiked my pants up like a little kid playing dress-up.  I can't even imagine what the people around me were thinking.  It was really distracting, and I didn't enjoy my jog tonight.  

On the bright side...my pants are falling down!!  You don't understand, these are the oddly cut yoga capris from the Old Navy online plus-size store that put me on the verge of camel toe in my wedding "getting ready" pictures.  I've worn them for two years, and now I can pull them up to my chest.  I look like Bill Hader doing an impression of Clint Eastwood.

"I've had it up to HERE!"

Naturally, I had to document this occasion.  

Pants hanging normally.  Aren't they such weird high-waters?

Pants hitching down the hips quickly.

SO. MUCH. ROOM.  Enjoy my mismatched fuzzy socks.

April 28, 2012.  The overhanging gut...the thing I feared more than anything while the weight piled up.

Farewell size 2X Womens Plus badly cut pants that went from constricting to indecent...you will now strictly be weekend loungewear.  I promise to do laundry frequently and have no excuse to wear you in public, even when the tumbleweeds float back into the gym.