Reshaping My Life

I always said that I didn't want to document my weight loss journey in public, but the support I've received on Facebook has been fantastic.  I even have people asking me what my "secret" is.  I don't ever presume to be an expert on weight loss and exercise and whatnot, especially as everybody's body and life is different.  What works for me may not work for you.  However, I love reading success stories on blogs and message boards and even got the nerve up to make a post on MyFitnessPal, the website and app that has assisted me in my focus.  The support and compliments were overwhelming, and I felt great.

I'd like to start this blog to hold myself accountable and to keep my eye on the 50 pound prize this year.  I lost 41 pounds in 2013, so I want to raise the goal a bit.  I won't beat myself up if I don't hit that goal exactly, as I know there are plenty of Non Scale Victories (NSV) out there that are just as exciting.  Normally, I wouldn't post public pictures of myself, but I don't plan on getting incredibly personal on here, and I'm not sharing pictures of family or friends.  If someone I know who's not actively in my life or on Facebook sees this, big deal.  This is a POSITIVE journey and not something to be ashamed of!

I found this sign over the summer and really regret not buying it.

I had a hard time coming up with a name for this blog, but I figured I'd name it after the two things I never thought I'd love so much.  Now that I've been losing so many pounds and inches, I've been getting cold all the time.  I used to have a fan on at my desk 365 days a year.  I welcome snuggling in sweaters now, and that is a huge change for me.  I also used to turn my nose up at green/fruit protein smoothies.  Now I don't feel right if I don't have one at least 5 mornings a week.  I have opened my mind to drinking spinach and banana (among many other yummy ingredients), and that has helped my skin, energy, and I know I'm getting at least one totally "clean" meal per day.

My weight has fluctuated my whole life, especially in 1999 when I was a freshman in college, got my first job, and had my first heartbreak.  I also took care of chronically ill parents, and that sure didn't help!  I gained 100 pounds by 2008, and I went on Weight Watchers in 2009.  I swiftly lost 45 pounds just with diet, but it came back almost as quickly as it left.  By my wedding in April 2012, I had gained all the weight back.  By my friend's wedding in July 2012, I added an extra 7 pounds.  I was at the highest number of my life, and I was in denial for a few months.  By December, I knew I had to take action for 2013.

I've slowly changed my habits with food, and as the weight dropped, I started adding exercise.  I went from the girl who got winded easily to (slowly) jogging 2 miles straight by October.  I don't deprive myself, and I'm still fully learning moderation.  I feel like I'm losing the weight really slowly, but at the same time, I know that I'll keep it off longer.  I need to make this a lifestyle change.  I've had a trainer for years, and she's been absolutely amazing.  I give her my food diary from MyFitnessPal to go over every week and she tells me the adjustments I need to make.  She gives me positive reinforcement but doesn't take it easy on me since she knows what I'm capable of physically.  She said while I do cardio on my time that she will shape me during our weekly session.  I'm supposed to start planking along with pushups and leg kicks on the exercise ball a couple times a week on my own.

If this blog can be motivational for anyone, awesome.  I'm going to definitely update it once a month with progress pictures, and I intend on sharing tidbits, stories, food and activity I like, and where I'm currently at in the journey.  And trust me, it's not always going to be sunny positive!  I still get very frustrated and I'm still getting used to what I see in the mirror.  I think 2014 will be a more physical year since my body has shed the equivalent of 8 bags of potatoes and is building more strength and cardio ability.

Let's start with the January 2014 pictures!  I plan on wearing the same outfit every time.  It's my 4 year old overly worn and washed favorite Old Navy shirt (2X) and my amazing Torrid flare jeans that really do favors for a pear shaped girl (20).  The jeans I started at last year (same style) were 24.  I'm pulling these current jeans on and off without having to unbutton or zipper, so I have a feeling I'll be getting a new pair by April when they're hiked up to my chest.

 

I'm 5'4", and I'll share my weight numbers after I reach "onederland."

Right now, I'd like to share "2012 before" and "2013 during" pictures so you can see my progress.  Click the link for pictures galore!  This is also for me to have a visual source of progress when I feel frustrated.




(You can click on the pictures to make them bigger)

My wedding day, April 2012.  I know I looked beautiful as any bride does, and I danced my ass off and posed for a million and one pictures, but I truly was not happy with myself.  

Posting this so you can see my fierce heels. 

June 2012, the day my husband and I met James Marsters (Buffy) for the 3rd time.  (My husband doesn't mind costume pix of him being posted.)  Anyway, this is the greatest picture in the history of the world, but I just have such a hard time FULLY loving it because I'm throwing my 3 chins and huge rolls all over Spike.

This is from my friend's wedding in July 2012.  I know that I was rockin the Grecian look and all (and we even got to wear Converse), but her pictures came back ridiculously late and I didn't see this shot until last spring.  I just about passed out when I saw how freakin massive I was.  Did a new job really make me pack on the pounds that fast in the space of 3 months?! 

In NYC in July 2012....partly showing off my Hedwig inspired tat, partly amazed at how wide my back got.

August 2012...I looked pregnant as hell.  Horrible.  

Meeting Joey Lauren Adams at a con in August 2012...yeah, that took guts to stand next to her tiny self!

September 2012...why did I think it would be a good idea to wear stripes?

Meeting the ever awesome Nick Brendon (Buffy) in October 2012.  What did my arms turn into?

 Being Harley Quinn the next day with my Joker husband.  We designed the costume specifically for me.

March 2013 with Danielle Harris.  Once again, that took guts!  I had lost about 13 lbs by this point.

March...the beginning of bathroom selfies!

April 2013.  No matter how big I am, I will always rock bright tights and boots.

April 2013....I had just begun alternating walking and jogging on the treadmill.

April 2013, our anniversary weekend.  I had lost 20 lbs since our wedding.  Felt good!

Finally rocking my favorite navy dress and heels the way they were meant to be rocked!  We saw Jekyll & Hyde that night...and I got my picture with the love-to-hate him Constantine Maroulis (who is actually very kind in person).  Still rocked the double chin, but at least it wasn't 3 chins!

May 2013.  I remember thinking I looked so cute that day and then got so pissed when I saw the pix and made him do a retake.  Hence the pissed expression.  

Yes, I met Henry Winkler with my best friend in June 2013.  I was not happy with this picture either, and I refuse to get another with James Marsters until I reach a bunch of goals!

June 2013....shirt's getting bigger.  Btw, aren't the urine colored bathrooms at my work just AWESOME?

June 2013...pencil skirts fitting better, neck and collarbone area starting to flatten out.

  July 2013...feeling better, don't let the face fool you.  Comparing it to November 2012.

July 2013....went back to a rock climbing gym.  I had done it once when I was around that same weight during the Weight Watchers loss, and I wanted to see how well I could do while being more physically fit. 

I have a video of the tougher course that I totally finished that makes me so happy every time I see it.  My husband is amazing support.

July 2013...hey, I went to a local swim club where anyone I know could see me, why not just show the whole internet what I looked like in a bathing suit at this time!  It fit better than when I bought it years ago.

July 2013....I had just gotten my new tattoo (lyrics from "Maybe This Time" from Cabaret).  I was down about 28 pounds at this point. 

July 2013....realizing while getting ready for work that this shirt never looked so good on me before.

August 2013....I got this shirt because Aerosmith is my favorite band and I couldn't wear my old concert shirts.  So I got this 3X Torrid shirt that is now positively swimming on me.

August 2013....realizing that my Old Navy clothes are swimming and realizing that other previously tight clothes now look great.

August 2013....whoa, where are the chins going??  And look at that collarbone area!  And my glasses finally fit my face!

 Later that day, I had my husband take more pictures.  That's an old top from WW loss that fit again, and I didn't realize just how flat my back was getting!  That was a very pleasant wake up call.

August 2013....down 33 pounds.  We went to the Ren Faire, and I still had to find my costume for our Game of Thrones party.  I reluctantly took this size XL off the specialty shop rack and almost had an aneurysm when it fit like a glove.  I broke down in the dressing room.  

August 2013....walking out of an AC Moore bathroom and realizing just how much everything was hanging on me.  Those shorts aren't going to make it to next summer.

March 2013 vs August 2013.  What a feeling!

September 2013....my Buffy hoodie that I could barely zipper at one point was suddenly swimming on me, as were my PJ pants that were crazy tight for awhile.  And then my hoodie that I couldn't wear for years fit fabulously!  Excuse the face, I had just awakened.

September 2013....started getting serious on the treadmill.  I don't do inclines or programs yet, as I just want to acclimate my body and joints to the activity. 

September 2013....realizing the difference in my fingers since my wedding day.  Even my feet are getting definition!  It's crazy.  

August 2012 vs September 2013

October 2013....actually feeling really happy.  That shirt never fit until now.

October 2013...I try not to take self-indulgent selfies like this, but it was a heatwave, our AC was broken, and I was miserable in our sticky house.  And then realized I really didn't look half bad.  

October 2013...realizing I can belt shirts again.

October 2013 vs October 2012.  I dropped 40 pounds by the time I put on my Cersei Lannister costume.  Was flying high that weekend!

Halloween night...I was able to throw the dress on over yoga pants.  WHAT.

November 2, 2013.  On our way to see Rocky Horror.  I'm not sure if I've ever looked this shapely.  I HAD to belt the dress.  The boots zipped with no problem.  And I was freezing that night.  

November 2013...jogging frequently at the gym.

November 2013...I made it into an XL coat at Old Navy.  JOY!

November 2013.  Feeling pretty amazing.

A comparison of my birthday in November 2012 and November 2013.  I can't stop smiling

December 2013...I have ankles again.  I can cross my legs again.

December 31, 2013.  Last pix of the year.  41 pounds and at least 10 overall inches down. (the holiday season was rough)

January 2014....first bathroom selfies of the year!  Feeling good in a new Old Navy sweater.  Being one of those people at work who are always cold.  Hell of a year's progress!  Getting psyched to continue the process for 2014!