Stress Eating: Then and Now

I really don't feel like going into it, but I'm going through the second most stressful time period of my adult life right now.  Normally when I feel stress, I give in to comfort eating.  And ohhhh the comfort foods in my life...these are the foods I can't really have often otherwise I will turn into a ravenous monster and nom them all down.  Let's list them so they're just out there in the open:

-Fried chicken.  None of that breaded crap, FRIED.
-Stromboli.  You give me anything smothered with mozzarella and tomato sauce, and I'm a goner
-Chicken Parmesan.  The unhealthy versions that are fried and with pasta.
-Cheese fries.  They're oh so terrible and oh so delicious.
-Pastry.  Cake, donuts, cinnamon buns, my cupcakes....evil.
-Pasta.  I could live on pasta with any kind of sauce or veggie or meat.  Unfortunately, it lives on my ass.
-Herrs Cheese Curls.  I will eat three servings in a blink of an eye, and that's the calorie equivalent of a meal.
-Soft Pretzels.  Worst thing in the world for me to eat.  Why are they so delicious?  So Philly.

These are my special treats.  I don't deny myself, but I REALLY have to watch myself around them.

I have been eating weirdly these past couple weeks.  I have been trying to integrate my every-meal-vegetable, but I've often been skipping meals.  Then I've been making up for it calorie-wise in one huge dinner.  So while my caloric numbers aren't tipping too terribly, I've been balancing the food terribly.  And while the calories may be within range, the fat hasn't been.  I'm trying to look at the whole picture here, and I'm trying to cleanse myself this week.  I'm going to be eating dinner at really strange late hours, but I have to make them light meals with a good post-work snack.

I was so proud of myself for not giving in to stress and even not wanting to eat.  But then, of course, it catches up.  And I didn't make the best decision for both dinners this weekend....

KFC.  Kentucky Fried Chicken.  I don't even like it that much, but it's fried chicken.  My stomach is still begging for mercy and trying to expunge everything.  Yet, I had it 2 days in a row.  Allow me to quote the movie So I Married An Axe Murderer regarding the love/hate relationship I have with Colonel Sanders.

  (I made that myself...I'm so proud)

It was good.  Not great.  I've had better.  I had a few potato wedges and tons of chicken.  They also have a deal where they give you a free chocolate or lemon pound cake if you get the 10+ piece bucket.  Yeah, so I also had half a slice each night.  It wasn't that great.  If my husband won't touch it, I'm throwing it out.

Now my body is retaining salt.  If I could prick a hole in my body and let all that retention shoot out, I so would.  Did I mention I had a Mountain Dew and barely drank water?  Add that brominated vegetable oil to the above list....

I just want to scream.  I know backsliding is inevitable, but how did I think that was a good idea for 2 days?!  I've been physically active those two days, but STILL!  

I need to make a plan.  I need to keep my body healthy during this stressful time period otherwise I'm going to destroy my health and sanity in so many ways.

My weight gain came flying back when my mother died in December 2010.  I'm not going to let this current stress affect me the same way.  I can't.  I've come too far and worked too hard and feel too good.  I need emotional support around me.  My husband and best friends are amazing, but I really do need to know that I can get through this extremely rough patch without sabotaging myself.  If you could shoot me a positive vibe right now, that would be extremely lovely.

Thanks everyone for reading, as always.  

April Progress and Wrap Up: Milestones!

This April has been pretty awesome.  The numbers haven't exactly been stellar, but that all changed as soon as the month ended...

On May 1, 2014, I officially was DOWN 50 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Oh joy, oh rapture!!!!!!  

I have never reached that number in my life.  And as my coworker pointed out, I'm more than halfway to my first major goal.  I'm only 44 pounds away now.  I will still be at an overweight number at that goal, but I'll be able to reevaluate my goals and focus completely on health, fitness, and toning, rather than numbers.  

Seriously, just hitting Onederland is going to be the most exciting day ever.  So close!!  In just 6 pounds, I will be at the number I plateaued at during my Weight Watchers time.  Basically, in 7 pounds, the game will be completely changed.  I already know I can do this.  

I'm nervous that this was water weight that will come back on, but I'm faithfully following what my trainer is advising me in terms of diet.  I've been having a rough week (as you will see in my next pictures), so I haven't been big on exercise.  However, we walked 10 miles in NYC last weekend on our anniversary, and I even ran with luggage in heels at one point.  So, yeah, I'd say I'm definitely getting better.

On that note, I reached another goal:  I can now do a 15:41 minute mile!!  Sounds slow as crap, I know, but I've been over 16 minutes for a year now.  With the proper playlist encouraging me, my speed increased and my body is getting used to this change.  I'm only able to run (RUN!) at the 4.2 mph speed for about 5 minutes, but it's a start.  I remember when I couldn't even jog for more than 5 minutes last year.  I'm monitoring my heart rate while I do this since my father died of a heart attack while jogging at 38 years old, and I refuse to go down that path.  Sure, I'm not a smoker, drug addict, or yo-yo dieter, but I still have those genetics, and I'm not going to over stress my body.

Numbers!

April weight loss:  about 1 pound

Total weight loss:  49 pounds

Nothing exciting yet...I think I start really accomplishing number goals when the weather gets warmer.  It's interesting.  

Pictures!

Confused about the pink axe?  Refer to my recent post.  It's been a doozy of a week.  (and seriously, you can skip most of the post and go right to the gifs, haha.)

Those jeans are being yanked on and off without having to undo the button or zipper.  I can't wait till they become my Bill Hader as Clint Eastwood pants.

"I've had it up to here!"

Some more pictures from over the month...

I can wear strapless from Old Navy!  YAY!

I posted this pic on Twitter and got the Stacy London approval.  PROOF:

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, right??

I thought I was getting sick after the wedding since my husband had the flu.  Turned out it was massive allergies, and I pumped my body full of meds for nothing.  BUT...I had to be healthy because I was about to get my brand new tattoo!

Last look at my bare left leg.

Right after he finished!  That black smudge is the ink, as he was still cleaning up.

My leg kinda swelled for awhile, but it was just ambushed with needles!  These are lyrics from the song Wicked Little Town (reprise) in the show Hedwig and the Angry Inch.  This show owns me, even moreso after having the pleasure of watching Neil Patrick Harris perform the 10 pm show on Broadway on 4/26.  My god.  I feel so optimistic.  It was a damn religious experience, but that's for a different blog.

The first time I broke a 16 minute mile.  I was in shock and beet red.

After Captain America...that t-shirt is officially loose, and I can wear my favorite denim miniskirt again.  Wish I had a better mirror other than the Regal Cinema, but I'm sure I'll be in that skirt all summer...

Trying to be positive.  Also really looking forward to a haircut (which I got right before the next pix).

Kicking off our wonderful 2nd anniversary weekend in NYC.  I'm still not used to seeing extra ink on my body.  Anyway, the dress is from Forever 21, aka my new favorite place to shop.  The texture on it is hard to read in the picture, but it's really a fabulous subtle design.

We saw Rocky the Musical, and Andy Karl was STELLAR.  I've never been so happy to have a fist in my face.  Been such a fan since '05.  The production was absolutely fabulous, and it didn't get as many Tony nominations as it should have.  GO SEE IT.  There is nothing more inspirational.  Never been so proud to be a Philly girl, too!  I have to get Gonna Fly Now among Rocky's soliloquy songs on my iPod already.  It's at the TKTS discount booth and there are discounts on broadwaybox.  Don't miss this!  I wish it a decent run.

I don't have any exciting pix from this one (it was late, and Katy Perry was at the show so there was plenty of backstage action), but I had to include it to encourage you all to go to my holy place of worship.

We saw Cabaret the next day.  The '98 revival has been revived after 10 years with Alan Cumming and Michelle Williams.  Alan was the original and definitive Emcee in this production, and he and Michael C Hall were the only two I didn't see (I saw the show 45 times beginning in late 2000).  I got myself all dolled up for the very first time.  I used to go to the show with bad hair, dye stained rock t-shirts, and jeans.  I used to be a terminally single retail bitch who was still finishing college and taking care of her parents.  Now, I'm married, in a much better job, and things are definitely much different on the family front.  This picture reflects just how much my life has changed, and I wept from the moment I stepped into the theatre.  Remember, I have lyrics from the song Maybe This Time tattooed on my back.  I don't take this stuff lightly.

On the left was our first anniversary.  On the right was our second.  20 lbs down on the left, just about 50 lbs down on the right.  It's kind of mind blowing.  Even my legs are throwing me...like one of our friends said last fall, "Dem gams!" but I don't think it truly hit me till this picture.  It also helps to have retro 1950's flair. :-)

I'm home.

I'm really excited for May.  I'm eating veggies with every meal, I'm going to be getting back into running (?!?!) once I put that pink axe down...I hope to start reaching more milestones soon!  Like Yoda said, "Do or do not, there is no try."  Damn right, jedi master.