When I joined my local gym 5 years ago, I was trying to become fit after losing weight through Weight Watchers. I was having difficulty focusing, so I learned about the training program through the manager. He decided to match me with D since he thought our personalities would mesh well together. He also told me that D was in the process of becoming ordained. That threw me at first since I'm not a particularly religious person, but I decided it couldn't hurt to meet her.
I'm going to sound cliche, but we hit it off like gangbusters. D has said from day one that our meeting was serendipitous. She was impressed with my strength and frequently mixed up my weekly training programs. However, I soon began a pattern of only seeing her at the gym and not going on my own time. Things were starting to get stressful with my mother, and I began gaining weight. I think I was only one of two clients who gained weight on her watch. She didn't get upset with me or berate me. I always referred to her as my "Bob" rather than "Jillian" from The Biggest Loser. She knew that I wouldn't respond well to abrasive behavior and was relieved that I was getting any kind of exercise in my week.
My husband had just moved in by that point and came with me to the gym. They hit it off as well, and he would sit in during my sessions while chatting with D, holding my feet, and teasing me that I needed to do 100 more reps. They put their creative minds together to write and illustrate a book about a fairy tree, which will hopefully be available in the future! D finished her schooling and became a non-denominational Christian minister. It was truly her destiny to go down that road, and I saw new peace and fulfillment within her.
D is a very warm person who finds meaning in everything. She doesn't like negativity and finds a way for me to put a positive spin on the grumpy things I say. And believe me, that woman spent many grumpy hours with me over the years! She always managed to put a smile on my face by the end of those sessions. D finds beauty in the world and is quite poetic. She can pull a poem that she wrote 10 years ago out of her brain, and it's always a lovely summation of a particular person, object, or situation. D has an excellent sense of humor, and we often talk about TV or movies. We chat about our personal lives, and I feel like I can trust her with just about anything.
My mother died in December 2010, and I was a mess. My mom faithfully believed in God, and I didn't want a random minister giving her eulogy. I called D, and she was hesitant at first because she never performed a funeral and hadn't been to one in many years. But she got over her nerves and told me she'd be honored. Even though D had never met my mother, she knew so much about her from all my stories and performed a beautiful service. I felt calmer knowing I could focus on her while she was speaking next to the casket.
D does not force religion or spirituality on me or judge my beliefs. She has been a sounding board for my rambles about what I truly believe. I started reading more about Taoism thanks to her. I am feeling more comfortable about giving myself permission to open my mind to more in this world beyond restrictive organized religion. I am still a skeptic, but I'm willing to do research and reading, and never judge others. My way of life is to treat others the way you want to be treated.
We were married in April 2012, and naturally we asked D to do the honors. It was a short engagement period, and every Monday was spent exercising and going over the service and wedding details. I loved how D put together a service that honored our beliefs while eliminating phrases and words that we didn't like. She wore her robe with two crosses to make my Catholic grandmother happy, but otherwise it was a very spiritual wedding utilizing old Celtic traditions and blessings. Her husband was there as well, and he was so delightful and present in the rehearsal and setup. It felt like a family affair.
I gained all the weight back that I lost on Weight Watchers (and then some), and D was extremely patient. She was tentative about pushing my strength because she didn't want me to hurt my body. It was a very fine line that she was walking with me, and I'm eternally grateful that she didn't give up on me. She knew I had to come to the breakthrough and conclusion myself. Naturally, she and my husband were worried that my depression and stubborn nature would keep me from doing this and that my health would be affected. She would gently discuss this with me, and I knew she was right, but I was scared.
D would always tell me that if I just walked for 20 minutes, 3 times per week, that it would make a difference. That a habit is formed after doing something for 22 days. That my body needs protein and I should always pair a carb snack with a protein (think apple and cheese). That I should really be eating a vegetable with every meal. That I can think of myself as an island and that the necessary, nourishing food for my body is being dropped off via parachute. That I should be mindful of my eating if I'm not exercising frequently. That she really wants me to be exercising, but if I absolutely had to choose one or the other, that eating well is the way to go. I started printing my week of MyFitnessPal daily diaries for her to read while I warmed up on the treadmill. She would tell me what I did well, what could be improved or replaced, and talk to me about why I felt like I needed that coffee cake 3 nights in a row. We recorded my weight weekly and talked about the fluctuations. I do research on nutrition and weight loss, but it's funny how most advice I've given to people is usually from something D told me.
I had to stop seeing her while I was unemployed from October through February, and it shows. I'm still wearing the same size clothes, but I gained 10 pounds and have gone back to my old habits of never going to the gym. D had designed a program for me that I could do on my own during that time, but I only did it a couple times. I just had a session with her two weeks ago, and it felt amazing. I'm still as strong as I ever was. But I'm having a hard time managing family stress, a new job, and tired laziness. D always tells me that the time I really feel grumpy about going to the gym is the time I need to go the most. I only live 3 minutes away, and my new job is now another minute down the road. There's no excuse whatsoever. I feel like I'm starting from scratch again with my "change of life" mentality. I know what I have to do thanks to all her guidance. It's a matter of getting my butt out the door.
I miss her a lot, and I aim to have my life fully back on track in April. We text and check in, but it's not the same. I miss my friend, and I miss getting my weekly physical and mental workout! My husband and I joke that D is our Yoda, and she truly is.
"Do. Or do not. There is no try."
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